If you’ve ever come home to find your dog has totally destroyed the crate and smeared a hot steamy dump all over the walls around it, you will relate to this.
Meet Charlie. He’s a rescue and I’ve had him for 11 days. He’s adorable and cuddly and loving. He wants so badly to please me and in return he just wants to have a home and be petted and fed. Seems like a pretty sweet arrangement for 💯 loyalty.
But last night I left him in his crate for a few hours and he acted out in a big way. He chewed his crate trey to bits and destroyed the carpet underneath it, poop smear included. Was I mad? A little. Was I pleased? Definitely not. Did I want to take him back to the humane society? No.
But why? Because he is learning stability. He’s learning that he can trust this is his home and he’s learning what love feels like. Learning what’s okay and what’s not.
He knew he was in trouble, but the only thing I could think about was how can I help him not feel like that any more. What can I do differently as his person?
I’m not writing this to say we should focus on people’s potential over their pattern, but I am writing for myself to dig into my own pattern of being so willing to forgive the dog over forgiving the human.
I’ve been married and I’ve been divorced…so I can tell you all right now if I had reacted to my husband the way I did my dog – like “damn, damn, damn. Well I know you love me but let’s not let this happen this way again so what’s my role in making sure it doesn’t” that maybe we would still be married. Maybe.
Forgiveness with a little ownership is a very delicate balance. The “why” matters. But so does the “what”. All that to say…look into your own role in your life and be honest about your reactions. Are they fair? Justified? Loving? Solution oriented? If not….get yourself a dog.
Deeper Than a Puddle 