My grandmother told me years ago that women are the ones who keep the big families together. She went on to say “Don’t you think my sisters and I got into it? Sure we did. Do you think our husbands always got along? Lord no.” when explaining how it wasn’t always easy.
She was one of four sisters who made decisions daily to raise their families close. They each had multiple children and all those kids know each other. Moving on those kids had kids, their kids had kids, and there’s another generation of kids in the mix today.
That’s five generations of a family who all know each other because of the decision those four women made to keep their families close. And it’s their legacy now that they’re all passed on.
“I’m so blessed because I’ve got family and not everyone has that” was what she said to me the last time I saw her and I’ll never forget it. It’s been a year since she passed and I reached out to one of my cousins (I don’t even know how many times removed or any of the tree talk to say) to ask what the trick was to keeping the family close after the matriarch dies.
“Forgiveness” was the word she gave me. So if you’ve been blessed with a big family, accept it. Love each other and defend and protect each other. Get into it and make up like big families do. And forgive. Forgive for you and so you may honor the legacy the women before you worked so hard to create.
Women are the organizers, the cooks, and the gatekeepers of the schedules. Women are the nurturers and if we get behind the family, there’s a better chance of its legacy surviving, and a better chance of you creating one for yourself.
Deeper Than a Puddle 