No one likes an uncomfortable conversation, but if grace is the fuel for change and vulnerability exposes love, a conversation is something you should practice and believe in.
Read those again. Grace is the fuel for change. Vulnerability exposes love. Powerful words there.
Don’t be afraid to string together a loving set of words that let someone in your life know how they’re affecting you. It’s usually an assumption of ill intent gone wrong, but if it’s not, the relationships designed to stay will survive the hard talks.
There’s a big difference in calling your kids to berate them about something you don’t like to offer unsolicited judgement and in them calling you to ask what you think and wanting your advice. Your feelings on the subject may very well be the same but the package those feelings are in won’t get marked “return to sender” if your grown kids actually come to you to see what you think.
I’m sure my kids won’t come to me with everything or even agree with my stance, but already in their 20s I get the calls about business, big decisions, friendships, relationships, and life advice – and they’re my absolute favorite phone calls to get.
Be approachable. Be unconditionally loving, which is not the same as being blindly supportive. I hope the relationships with my adult kids are so they know they can come to me, we can disagree or agree, but they’ll always know I have a primary desire to understand them and help them walk through anything difficult. I also pray that God puts the right words in my mouth for effective delivery so they hear me as well.
So to all the parents out there with kids still at home – those little windows of communication they open for you today will be the key to earning influence later. Be intentional with them. Their feelings are real and their minds are learning how to process and more importantly who they can rely on to help their brains quiet in the future.
If you’ve ever floated on a raft at the lake, the gulf or ocean, you know that feeling when you think you’ve been relaxing but you open your eyes only to realize you are nowhere near where you started. You can’t see your chair, nothing looks familiar, you might even be in dangerous waters, and it was definitely unplanned. It’s not so relaxing now. It’s anxiety, stress, and maybe even fear.
Don’t close your eyes for too long, people! Life will sweep you away just as fast while you’re not paying attention. One day you wake up and your health is in the toilet, your friendships need nurturing, your business isn’t thriving, your relationships are way off center, your kids are into bad habits, or the root of all things awry for me.. my relationship with God feels unfamiliar.
The bible says the devil prowls around us like a roaring lion, circling… waiting for us to lose our focus and devour us while we’re not paying attention. Ears and eyes up, friends. To stay the path, you’ve got to steer, and to not float away, you’re going to have to paddle just a bit. Don’t let it get to an almost emergent situation because you didn’t notice what was happening. But if you did…. welcome back! ❤
Does anybody have those friends who call you for seemingly no reason just because they had a prompting on their heart to reach out to you?
There really is something in the gift of discernment and being blessed with exceptional intuition. It’s special when people see through the masks we all wear and even beautiful when those who see a need act on it.
What can you do to be that friend?
Take out two minutes of your day, ask God to show you the need, and send a message to the person He puts on your heart to let them know that you’re thinking about them. While that little bit of time might mean nothing to you, being considered, knowing you’re loved despite your flaws, and seeing that from another person means everything to someone else.
Today, I’m thankful for the “Donnas” in my life who dig deep with me, see my heart, hear the things I don’t say, and know that sometimes when I say everything’s okay that that means it’s really not. Type As need love, too.
♡♡♡♡ HUGS ♡♡♡♡
“And He will delight in the fear of the LORD, And He will not judge by what His eyes see, Nor make a decision by what His ears hear” Isaiah 11:13
We can look outside & see that it’s sunny or raining, but we ALL look to our weatherman make our outside plans. James Spann just happens to be my guy, & has been ever since I can remember. When I plan a camping trip, want to take the boat out, spend the day at the pool, or am just deciding whether or not to water my grass or wash the car, he’s my guy.
So how is it that we forget to rely on God for our life decisions? He made our hearts, so he’s surely the expert on them. He’s 100% accessible & promises that when we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. Why not go to God for ALL of our decisions & pray first? It seems silly (& prideful) to let our pool days & vacations be ruined by nasty weather just because we didn’t listen to the weatherman.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.” Proverbs 3:5 NLT
So what’s the difference between a reason to put something off and an excuse? A reason is a factor you can’t control, something that actually affects your decision, something to consider when making a plan. An excuse is something we say to make ourselves feel better about not doing what we know we should be doing.
So, what are you really waiting on? Are you really not visiting that grandparent because you have a cold and don’t want to get them sick (reason) or are you not visiting because you would rather watch Netflix and like to say you don’t have time (excuse)? 🖐 I’ve done that.
What’s really holding you back? Are you really struggling with your finances because you were hit with buying new tires and your water heater went out in the same month (reason) or are you upside down because you like Starbucks every morning and go out to eat 7 days a week (excuse)? 🖐 I’ve done this, too.
When we sit down to make a plan to do something, we’re making a decision. There’s no need to remake that decision every single day when conditions don’t change. Self discipline is hard and excuses are easy…so when we find ourselves living outside the decisions we make for our own life, first look at the reason why.
If the reason why is because you’re sad or need to forgive someone (maybe even yourself), make a plan for digging that root up so you can live your best life. There’s a lot of freedom that comes along with being honest with what makes you tick.
🌞”It is not so much our friends’ help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they WILL help us.” – Epicurus
I posted this quote in 2009. It’s funny to me how today it was just the quote my soul needed to hear, but then again God aligns my memories like this often so you’d think I’d be used to the lesson by now.
If you know me at all, you know I DO NOT like asking for anything. I’m sure it’s a flaw of some kind the whole “not letting someone be a blessing” thing but it makes me feel indebted and needy so I usually just hire it out or do it myself. But sometimes, it’s the someone who knows you the best and most you need by your side, so sometimes I have to ask for help.
The quote is correct… it’s not the favor, but the knowledge that who you’re asking it of will give you a solid yes. That selfless and loyal quality in a human is one of my favorite qualities and, as their friend, it’s one of my favorite emotions.
🥂 Cheers and blessings over all of the high quality friends I have in my life who have shown up and shown out for me lately. Your loyal generosity or time and effort is empowering.
I believe it. Just like us making decisions for our kids when we have more information than they do and them saying, “But whyyyyyyyyyyy?” maybe with a foot stomp or two, but God is truly omniscient.
If our prayers often feel like “wishes” and they don’t come true, maybe it’s the information we don’t have or the circumstances and situation He’s protecting us from that we should start asking for peace about. If 💯 of the time it unfolds 💯 the way it should even when we don’t have 💯 of the information, then 💯 of the time we should trust 💯.
I’m good at a few things, y’all. Cooking without recipes, whistling in public, writing solid contracts, thinking outside the box, being a fiercely loyal friend, loving and protecting my people, forgiving people and expecting the best, beginner level home improvement projects…..but I’m not good at all those things all the time. Does it mean I failed or need to quit trying? No. It doesn’t mean I’m losing my edge, either.
Sometimes it’s just a crappy day. Sometimes we need to go easy on ourselves, not expect perfection, and not get so let down.
Because some days the stars don’t align, some days people don’t cooperate, and because some days we are so off our game, we even burn the toast.
Deeper Than a Puddle 