“I prayed about it.”

One of my favorite things to do, but one of my LEAST FAVORITE retorts to hear.

Now let me explain because this is a little touchy…So, we prayed about it. That’s good, I think that’s what we should do. Ask for guidance, ask our friends to join us in prayer, even take a minute to process if what we’re doing is going to align us with our purpose. God isn’t going to push us in the direction of rash decision making without a plan. He won’t encourage us to be inconsiderate or careless. The solution will be clear, thoughtful, loving, considerate, well laid…most likely make us better.

God doesn’t confuse, the devil does that. He’s not manipulative or spiteful or greedy…the devil’s all those things. God brings peace, helps us plan and carefully execute. I can definitely tell when I don’t actually pray about things like I should, because the process is much more convoluted than it needs to be. There are gaps in decisions because I didn’t think them through or didn’t see them coming. There’s maybe a Screwtape in my ear I don’t want to admit exists….a blind spot I’m missing. All things God would show me if I prayed about it….and waited for understanding.

So if we’re going to use “I prayed about it” in conversation, it probably shouldn’t be presented as a “can’t argue with me now because I’ve got God on my side and you don’t” justification…. The process should match the God we prayed to for guidance. The clarity of the plan should be evident and masterful just like He is.

An answered prayer in our hearts is only something we can feel and discern. Maybe the litmus test to a true Devine reply is whether or not you’re asking Him to agree with you, imagining He did, and therefore everyone else should, too, or asking for guidance and feeling correction to do it well.

“My son, do not let wisdom and understanding out of your sight, preserve sound judgment and discretion; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭3‬:‭21‬-‭23‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Shit Pie is Better Than Plain Shit

Love tanks. Everyone has one and everyone’s has a gauge. You can’t see it, it’s not as cut and dry as looking in the dash of you car, but it’s there. And I bet when yours is on E, it feels a lot like undervalue or confusion. But when it’s full, it feels a lot like that first magical bite of your favorite dessert or the satisfaction of accomplishing something big. It’s because you kind of have.

Life isn’t about always doing you, sometimes it’s about keeping watch over the gauges of those we love, really acknowledging when they’re getting low and being insightful to fill where we can without losing ourselves.

One of my best friends and I have it figured out. We don’t need the same type of love to fill our tanks, but we know what each other does need and the longer we’ve stayed friends, the more in tune we are with what that looks like.

So if you like the way someone makes you feel, be sure to dig in and figure out what makes them think of you as the best dessert on the buffet, too. Because there’s nothing sweeter than living a life where people are happy to have you in theirs.…even if all you can make is a little shit pie from a big pile of shit.

“You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other.”
‭‭John‬ ‭15‬:‭16‬-‭17‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Turbidity

Turbidity is the measurement of how cloudy water is. If you see a beautiful creek turn brown and yuck, it’s because somewhere upstream someone’s doing some sloppy work and not keeping the dirt away from it. High turbidity.

Those fabric fences, wattles, and riprap rocks you see around a construction site, those are there to keep the loose dirt from ever getting into the water and they’re called BMPs or “Best Management Practice”. So when you see a clear creek with fish and frogs downstream from a development where they’re moving a lot of dirt…that’s low turbidity and that’s good.

It’s responsible, it’s considerate, it’s smart, but it’s also expensive to keep up BMPs. In the construction world…it’s actually wrong not to and involves fines when you don’t. Even if they fail because of rain or any other reason. Because it’s important. Animals suffocate and fresh water sources dam up with silt otherwise.

Life’s no different. Things happen, improvements need to be made, “dirt” needs to be moved. It’s our human responsibility to have some best management practices in place so we keep our dirt where it’s supposed to be so we don’t affect or destroy beautiful things downstream. Sometimes it’s expensive and sometimes we don’t want to bother with it. But containing your construction site is important.

So when the opportunity arises or the need for change is evident in your life…evaluate how your movements will affect the people and relationships around you. Are they live giving, supportive, considerate, and clear? Low turbidity. Or are they sloppy, careless, and making otherwise clear things and people cloudy. High turbidity.

Bacon & Eggs

Think about your breakfast one morning when you have some time to ruminate what it actually took to get all that to your plate. The chicken’s involved, but the pig’s committed.

One day you’ll have a decision to make in your life where you have to choose what you are. Probably more than one if your life is full. These decisions reveal your character, your values, and which level of trust you can expect people to have in you, what kind of life you’re building…

Are you dipping a toe in while someone’s giving it their all? Or are you going straight to slaughter while they’re just laying an egg?

Are you creating solid ground for a foundation? Are you being honest with where your decisions are taking you? Do you have people to check you? Whatever your method before you commit is, be sure it’s fair and pray it’s reciprocal.

Because no one wants to be the crispy fried pig hemmed up with a healthy egg producing chicken.

Want a Do-Over?

Someone asked me the other day what part of my life I’d go back to.

I think not one. I would love to have a day or two visit back to a few parts of my life but I can’t think of one part of my life I’d want a do-over for or one that I love more than the life I’m living right now.

People have asked me what my biggest regret is…is it weird to say none? It’s hard to learn and grow if you’re not making mistakes so I can’t think of one I’d like to change.

They all taught me something more about what I did NOT want which clarifies more of what I do want?

Lessons or blessings. That’s about the sum of life. Both are awesome, both are necessary. So before you get all sad about where you are, stop and think about where you’ve been and how much you’ve learned because of it.

Warning Signs Aren’t Random

Chances are 100% that if you’re on a dangerous road, there have been plenty of warning signs before you get to the 500′ cliff where the “end of construction” sign is. Choosing to ignore them will put you in a big time mess that was completely avoidable.

God will give you 1,000+ detours & warning signs. His word, messages at church, the Holy Spirit…& the ones we don’t expect in people. Filtering through the good v bad influences is easy: one speaks the truth (based on God’s truth) and the other doesn’t (based on the world’s self serving theories). Voila!

“I need someone to mediate between God and me, as a person mediates between friends. For soon I must go down that road from which I will never return.”

Job 16:21-22 NLT

Ant Beds Don’t Make Themselves

If you want something, sitting around wishing for it, lamenting or complaining about how it’s not working out will keep you in that spot forever.

Make up for your lack of experience or ability with hard work and determination. You don’t see the ants laid out complaining or homeless because the humans and dogs can move dirt faster. Nope! They’re lined up by the thousands with a single spec just getting it done because they adjusted their plan to their resources. Apply this principle to every facet of your life and be pleasantly surprised with the results!

“You lazy fool, look at an ant. Watch it closely; let it teach you a thing or two. Nobody has to tell it what to do. All summer it stores up food; at harvest it stockpiles provisions. So how long are you going to laze around doing nothing? How long before you get out of bed? A nap here, a nap there, a day off here, a day off there, sit back, take it easy—do you know what comes next? Just this: You can look forward to a dirt-poor life, poverty your permanent houseguest!” Proverbs 6:10-9 MSG (haha that’ll preach)

All Pretty Things Need Work

“If you’ve got a pretty house & a pretty yard, somebody’s done work in it,” my grandmother, Betty Creel White. And when you stop taking care of it, weeds start to grow and the shutters fall off.

It’s not surprising that the same thing happens in our relationships when we quit working on them. Don’t ever think you’re too good to try or that your efforts should be motivated by how you feel.

“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” Galatians 6:9 NLT

2013 memory reshared.

BJ & Alex, 11.10.21

Highest & Best Use

A legacy to me isn’t money. It’s when the three areas of community, talents, and values intersect to create an environment where we’re maximizing our best potential.

In real estate, it’s called highest and best use.

“the reasonably probable and legal use of vacant land or improved property, which is physically possible, appropriately supported, financially feasible, and that results in the highest value.”

It’s safe to assume we all want the highest value possible for our own lives. So knowing the ways we can get the most from the time God gives us to realize it makes a big difference in how, where, and with whom we spend it. And that information is equally as important as the desire to do it.

…prevent anyone from dying with the difference only they can make still inside them.

Legacy isn’t what you leave behind. It’s the difference you’re making today.

Scott Perry, Creative on Purpose

Even Baby Birds Learn to Fly

It’s an odd moment the minute you accept the child you raised from a helpless baby is spreading their wings to fly away. But if all mama birds kept their babies in the nest, there’d be no more birds.

The best way to love an adult child is to speak positivity into them, encourage them to chase their dreams, love them through their mistakes, and ask them the right questions that lead to self correction. It’s not to enable their poor decisions, smother and control them or make excuses for them, but be their biggest fan and be proud that they don’t need you to survive on their own.

To all the adult children out there…you’re an adult. You file your own tax return and have your own car insurance. What you say and how you act may embarrass your parents to an extent, but you’re ultimately building a reputation for your own self that will directly affect you for the rest of your life. Write your own story, set your own goals, and live in a way that is designed to achieve them.