Being Lucky vs Being Shady as Hell

Being lucky is finding $100 in a coat you bought at the thrift store and you have no idea how to return it to the original owner. You bought it, it’s yours, you could donate it if you wanted, but you don’t have to. Being shady as hell is borrowing your friend’s coat and finding $100 in the pocket and keeping it like you forgot where it came from.

One of my most proud parenting moments happened when my kids and I bought a dresser from a Craigslist ad. We met the family of the elderly woman who owned it, took it home, and discovered it had $1400 cash taped in an eyeglass case to the bottom of one of the drawers when we took it apart to move it. It was obvious this woman had forgotten where she hid all her stashes so I knew exactly how it happened.

I think my kids were maybe 6&8 at the time so I let them “have” the money, like actually hold it and feel it. They’d never seen that much money before. This was a lot of money to me, too! Like a full mortgage payment and utilities. I told them what I thought happened, how sometimes older people hide money because they didn’t trust banks. I reminded them some of the things the couple said when they sold us the dresser about not being able to afford the storage fees for the mother’s furniture….

And then I told my kids they could either keep the money, painting the picture of all of the things they could buy with it, or we could take it back to the family and tell them what we found.

And then… I sent my kids to school to think about it and left it totally up to them. When I picked them up that afternoon I asked them if they’d decided what they wanted to do with the money and I think my “yea your kids will be just fine” heart grew 497 times when they both agreed “mama, we’re going to take the money back”.

The thing is, they were actually lucky to find it, but I know now for a fact they’ll never be shady as hell.

What’s “Commitment” Mean?

Are you really so committed if you truly enjoy what you do or who you’re with? Think about that.

To me, commitment happens when you don’t enjoy it. We say “we just grew apart”’ “I just got tired”, or “life happened” or whatever thing we say to justify changing our mind.

No, commitment is when it’s hard. Commitment is when your mama made your favorite banana pudding, but you don’t eat the whole thing because you’re committed to your healthy lifestyle. Commitment is when your husband is doing that “or for worse” thing and you want to throw his clothes in the front yard, but you don’t because you’re committed to your life together.

Commitment happens when things are hard, when you have to dig deep and remind yourself you made the decision already to stay, to persist, and do what you said what you’d do. Commitment doesn’t happen when things are easy, or you wouldn’t have had to commit to it because you’d be doing it anyway.

Your Children Need Your Time

Kids don’t really need the monogrammed dresses and all the gaming consoles. They want and need your time. This picture is from 2008, when we used to take the camper to Tannehill for the whole month of October.

Life was simple and easy and cheap. They caught bugs and made fires, got dirty, cooked outside, rode bikes, and we made so many good memories.

Time spent with your kids creates memories they’ll keep forever long after the “stuff” is outdated or lost. It creates these windows for conversations to teach them and tell them about life.

Time with them is what molds them into the adults they become, the values they develop, and the memories they want to recreate with their families.

Get outside, leave the tv off, forget the Switch charger on purpose, and enjoy them while they’re little so they come back to you when they’re grown.

Negative Mind —> Negative Life

GOOD women can be irascible tarts. The snide remarks, manipulative pot stirring, gossipy tendencies, snarkiness, and sometimes just downright meanness can drive the good influences away.

We all go through seasons of negativity, usually relative to WHO we’re surrounding ourselves with – and possibly that we’re not going to church or digging deep with some prayer or good reading. But, a season doesn’t have to become a way of life.

If your thoughts are negative, your words will be, too. Get control of your thoughts. If your circle delights in talking about other people, and you find yourself participating – find a new circle. Stop reacting in a way that makes you less than who God wants you to be… because only you are responsible for what comes out of your mouth.

“When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Proverbs 31:26

Where Does Wisdom Come From?

“But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”

James‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Being willing to yield to others doesn’t mean you’re accepting another is right and you’re wrong, just means you stop long enough to CONSIDER THAT someone might have more information than you and use that new info when you reevaluate.

I think that’s where wisdom comes from… Being open to the idea that there’s more information out there you need to make up your mind.

Anyone who says “well you know how I am, once I’ve made up my mind…” is not good. Always be open to learn, always be open to being wrong, and always be open to listening to others’ perspectives.

Are Hurts Like Leftovers?

“The key to happiness is a short memory.”

Betty Creel White

“What if hearts are infinitely reparable? Would knowing that make you fearless in love? Instead of avoiding heartbreak, you could give all your passion and play and intimacy…and trust your heart’s ability to heal from the inevitable bumps, bruises and crashes. Contrary to fantasy, happy couples do hurt and disappoint each other. They might even break each other’s hearts. The trick is what do you do after? Run away? Or heal each other and build from there?” — Alison Armstrong

You can’t live or love well if you’re reheating hurts up for breakfast every day like their yesterday’s leftovers. Sometimes the best and happiest way to live is to let them go.

What’re You Passing on to Your Kids?

Those great attributes your kids have?? Great chance they came from YOU! But those little bad habits they have…they’re probably from you, too. SO, before you jump all over your kids for being messy, unorganized, forgetful, disrespectful, snarky, dramatic, etc…consider where they’re picking up on those little undesirable qualities (single parents – NO, they are not always from the ex).

It’s never too late to drop a bad habit &, in the process, show your children what accountability looks like. Pray about it – out loud – with your children. Teach them it’s okay to ask for God’s help in an area of their life where they’re having trouble by asking for it yourself. If you do life well, the chances of them doing life well will increase exponentially.

Dear Beautifully Strong Willed Woman,

That very thing that makes you the most caring, tenacious, and resilient friend, sister, daughter, mother, mentor, and woman of God will make you a worthy and supportive woman to the man God👏 prepared 👏for 👏 you 👏.

All those trials and obstacles you overcame with those same qualities are not unitools, they’re the fiber of who you are and you shouldn’t ever muzzle that. If the man you care for is telling you you’re too strong willed because you have a voice and know how to articulate it, that’s him not listening or being able to accept that you bring value to the table with your own mind and life experience.

Men are designed to lovingly lead, so WAIT for the man who’s a leader… who listens to you and finds value in your strength and willingness to share it. A leader gathers, seeks out, ALL of the information and makes conscientious decisions with the ones he’s called to lead in mind.

Anything less than that is not leadership. You do your part in keeping your delivery calm and loving, but existent, and the man God prepared will embrace you.

❤

Hustle, but Don’t Lose Your People

The hustle can make you hard, turn you savage, make you forget to love people. It distracts you from loyalty, compassion, and sympathy.

The drive to have more stuff, be number one, beat out the competition can eclipse our inclination to be humble and kind or consider how we affect others with our actions.

And all for what?

The relationships we cherish, the ones we know we can count on, and the ones we should nurture, are not built on us being successful. They are built on us being real and consistent, loving and open to being loved.

Find balance. Work hard. Love people.

“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Proverbs 22:1 NIV

Being Wrong About People Sucks

Betrayal stings so bad because it always stings to be wrong. Wait what?? Yes…. that’s right. It’s rough to truly believe someone “Would never, EVER ” only to find out they did. It’s gross, unbelievable, and it makes you feel like you missed something.

But, if believing the people we love are secret Judas/ Brutas is the other choice – I don’t want to be right! That’s no way to live. Expecting the best without being derailed by the worst is where the good stuff is.

It doesn’t make you dumb or naive to think people are good before they act badly. File it away, learn from it, grow in it, and carry on keeping your side of the street clean.