Your Children Need Your Time

Kids don’t really need the monogrammed dresses and all the gaming consoles. They want and need your time. This picture is from 2008, when we used to take the camper to Tannehill for the whole month of October.

Life was simple and easy and cheap. They caught bugs and made fires, got dirty, cooked outside, rode bikes, and we made so many good memories.

Time spent with your kids creates memories they’ll keep forever long after the “stuff” is outdated or lost. It creates these windows for conversations to teach them and tell them about life.

Time with them is what molds them into the adults they become, the values they develop, and the memories they want to recreate with their families.

Get outside, leave the tv off, forget the Switch charger on purpose, and enjoy them while they’re little so they come back to you when they’re grown.

Negative Mind —> Negative Life

GOOD women can be irascible tarts. The snide remarks, manipulative pot stirring, gossipy tendencies, snarkiness, and sometimes just downright meanness can drive the good influences away.

We all go through seasons of negativity, usually relative to WHO we’re surrounding ourselves with – and possibly that we’re not going to church or digging deep with some prayer or good reading. But, a season doesn’t have to become a way of life.

If your thoughts are negative, your words will be, too. Get control of your thoughts. If your circle delights in talking about other people, and you find yourself participating – find a new circle. Stop reacting in a way that makes you less than who God wants you to be… because only you are responsible for what comes out of your mouth.

“When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.” Proverbs 31:26

Where Does Wisdom Come From?

“But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.”

James‬ ‭3:17‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Being willing to yield to others doesn’t mean you’re accepting another is right and you’re wrong, just means you stop long enough to CONSIDER THAT someone might have more information than you and use that new info when you reevaluate.

I think that’s where wisdom comes from… Being open to the idea that there’s more information out there you need to make up your mind.

Anyone who says “well you know how I am, once I’ve made up my mind…” is not good. Always be open to learn, always be open to being wrong, and always be open to listening to others’ perspectives.

Are Hurts Like Leftovers?

“The key to happiness is a short memory.”

Betty Creel White

“What if hearts are infinitely reparable? Would knowing that make you fearless in love? Instead of avoiding heartbreak, you could give all your passion and play and intimacy…and trust your heart’s ability to heal from the inevitable bumps, bruises and crashes. Contrary to fantasy, happy couples do hurt and disappoint each other. They might even break each other’s hearts. The trick is what do you do after? Run away? Or heal each other and build from there?” — Alison Armstrong

You can’t live or love well if you’re reheating hurts up for breakfast every day like their yesterday’s leftovers. Sometimes the best and happiest way to live is to let them go.

What’re You Passing on to Your Kids?

Those great attributes your kids have?? Great chance they came from YOU! But those little bad habits they have…they’re probably from you, too. SO, before you jump all over your kids for being messy, unorganized, forgetful, disrespectful, snarky, dramatic, etc…consider where they’re picking up on those little undesirable qualities (single parents – NO, they are not always from the ex).

It’s never too late to drop a bad habit &, in the process, show your children what accountability looks like. Pray about it – out loud – with your children. Teach them it’s okay to ask for God’s help in an area of their life where they’re having trouble by asking for it yourself. If you do life well, the chances of them doing life well will increase exponentially.

Dear Beautifully Strong Willed Woman,

That very thing that makes you the most caring, tenacious, and resilient friend, sister, daughter, mother, mentor, and woman of God will make you a worthy and supportive woman to the man God👏 prepared 👏for 👏 you 👏.

All those trials and obstacles you overcame with those same qualities are not unitools, they’re the fiber of who you are and you shouldn’t ever muzzle that. If the man you care for is telling you you’re too strong willed because you have a voice and know how to articulate it, that’s him not listening or being able to accept that you bring value to the table with your own mind and life experience.

Men are designed to lovingly lead, so WAIT for the man who’s a leader… who listens to you and finds value in your strength and willingness to share it. A leader gathers, seeks out, ALL of the information and makes conscientious decisions with the ones he’s called to lead in mind.

Anything less than that is not leadership. You do your part in keeping your delivery calm and loving, but existent, and the man God prepared will embrace you.

❤

Hustle, but Don’t Lose Your People

The hustle can make you hard, turn you savage, make you forget to love people. It distracts you from loyalty, compassion, and sympathy.

The drive to have more stuff, be number one, beat out the competition can eclipse our inclination to be humble and kind or consider how we affect others with our actions.

And all for what?

The relationships we cherish, the ones we know we can count on, and the ones we should nurture, are not built on us being successful. They are built on us being real and consistent, loving and open to being loved.

Find balance. Work hard. Love people.

“A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” Proverbs 22:1 NIV

Being Wrong About People Sucks

Betrayal stings so bad because it always stings to be wrong. Wait what?? Yes…. that’s right. It’s rough to truly believe someone “Would never, EVER ” only to find out they did. It’s gross, unbelievable, and it makes you feel like you missed something.

But, if believing the people we love are secret Judas/ Brutas is the other choice – I don’t want to be right! That’s no way to live. Expecting the best without being derailed by the worst is where the good stuff is.

It doesn’t make you dumb or naive to think people are good before they act badly. File it away, learn from it, grow in it, and carry on keeping your side of the street clean.

Sticking to the Plan?

What drives you? Does a conscious decision you made for your life and your family drive you, or do your feelings and emotions blow you around like a leaf on a tree leaving you to remake the same decisions over and over again?

It’s too mentally exhausting and energy taxing to live in groundhog decision mode. Sure you’re tired and don’t want to cook, but is the greasy hamburger really the best fast food choice? I get the Netflix series really sucked you in, but don’t you feel better if you go to bed at 10p instead of 2a? It is recorded after all.

No, you don’t want to go to church because it’s soooo much easier to let the kids sleep, but doesn’t it start your week out right? Yea, the dryer buzzer went off and you don’t feel like folding laundry, but they’re so wrinkly when they get cold and then you have to iron them.

All these are examples of little decisions YOU MADE already to improve your life. So when we’re tired or hangry or maybe just lazy, it should take a little more than a .5 second thought process to undo them.

What’s Karen Got to Do With It?

Ever notice how people who aren’t trying to grow spiritually or people who have a really high horse they’re on like to point out everyone else’s sin? It’s super annoying. Guess what!? Churches are full of sinners. Yep. It’s true! 100% sinners.

I’d rather be called a hypocrite by a busy body than never feel any conviction from God’s word. Whose opinion really matters? The Karen, nosey Nancy, judgy Jack, Chatty Cathy, superchristian Sal? Or God’s?

Remember you do NOT have to pass inspection by anyone else before you can draw close to God. The only thing standing between you & God is you. Believing that will remove a lot of the unnecessary trash from your path.

Not Everyone is a Pink Starburst

Not everyone is a pink Starburst. Sometimes people let us down and disappoint us. So, is it fair to actually BE let down? Because maybe the people we WANT to be the pink Starburst are nice yellow Starbursts – good but different. Still good!

I’ve discovered at the ripe age of 29+? that it’s more reasonable and less frustrating to re-sort people in my life than it is to sit and wait for them to act/react like I’ve played it out in my mind.

My prayer for you all, and myself, is that we love people for WHERE they are meant to be stationed in our lives. My supporting prayer is that is that WE RISE to our stations in the lives of others.

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32 NIV

When Someone You Love Struggles

Seeing someone you love struggle with spiritual warfare is a helpless feeling. My natural instinct is to dig in and fix it. Lean in and love them harder.

Until I realize the enemy would love to be the reason I sacrifice even the tiniest bit of faith, rerouting my effort and time away from my purpose and end up getting myself off track in the process.

Maybe the cure to spiritual warfare in that helpless moment is us shoring up on His Word and hanging out while the storm around us passes. Praying first and not last.

MAYBE when this happens, we’re in the way, standing right between the person meant to connect with the person we love and help them through their battle. Or worse, maybe we’re just distracting them from their time with God to do the same.

Once we’ve made a good life decision for our house there is NO reason to revisit it when the devil tries to manipulate us through someone we love. Pray for God to reveal to you your part in their healing, it should never interfere with your faith or get you off track.