Epic fail or divine purpose? There are not a lot of things more discouraging than feeling like you’ve failed at something. You start to convince yourself you’re incapable of change, better off without trying again, and basically put your own ball and chain around your ankle.
Consider the idea that God will re-purpose your garbage dump of a past into a moving testimony for others at the beginning of the wrong path you just finished. It’s true. He will never let us walk through something without AFTERWARDS giving us an opportunity to use it in a mighty way. Keep your head up – that “epic fail” will start to look like an “epic win”! Because our God is the God of 2nd, 3rd, 4th… chances.
“I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.” Psalm 16:8
By far, one of the greatest lessons you could ever teach your kids is how to humbly apologize. I’m not always good at it, but I feel like I’ve not been terrible at it, either.
It starts with apologizing to them. It doesn’t make you a bad parent to admit you messed up, it doesn’t show weakness to say “I shouldn’t have done that”, and it doesn’t discount the fact that you are still their parent when you have to say you’re sorry for not seeing something before you affected them with your actions.
I think kids often times think we expect perfection and that fear is something hard to live in. Showing your child you’re not perfect by admitting it is a strong and bold move.
Own the offense, admit your shortcomings, let your kids see you try, let them see you grow… and watch them do the same. They learn by watching you.
Our lives are filled daily with imperfect situations and relationships where God has given us this beautiful, unique ability to reevaluate and modify the way we manage.
While we can’t control what’s happening TO us, we can certainly control our actions in response to imperfect circumstances surrounding us.
This morning my prayer for myself and my friends is one my grandmother told me she prayed often:
“Lord, if I can’t make it better, please help me to not make it worse.”
Ignoring guilt that leads to correction is turning a slip into a fall. We must realize our actions have a ripple effect because we don’t sin in a vacuum & a “whatever” attitude will cause us to fall short in our relationships.
It’s healthy to imagine how our actions will impact others & react accordingly, but walking around shameless & cold hearted is an immediate sign of something very wrong. Listen to the people who love you, consider the possibility that they see something in your blind spot.
“So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do.” Ephesians 5:15-17 NLT
Sometimes I don’t think about praying for “little” things because I feel like they should be my responsibility or because I think “I can’t bother Him with that.” Wow. How foolish to insert my judgment over His.
God should get to decide which prayers are important & which ones aren’t. He already knows what’s on our hearts, but submitting to Him in prayer is like taking a weight off of our shoulders. Give it up & watch Him work it out.
“I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13 NLT
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” Luke 16:10 NIV
My best friendships have been discovered through the truth in these words. If you want to feel God’s love in action, look for the people in your life you can trust with the little things who over time prove themselves to be gate keepers of the big things.
I’ve been blessed to walk through life with some amazing gate keepers – the ones who see my heart and guard it like their own. It’s not a love you have to ask for, a case you have to plead – it’s a discerning frequency tuned to your spirit specifically.
When you realize you have these people in your life, keep them.
The way you feel love is by default the way you love the best. Example: You feel loved the best by someone offering acts of service, so you are exceptionally good at serving others. Cooking dinner, washing the car, doing the laundry, etc.
BUT…if the person you love’s love language is touch and all you do is fold their laundry and go to the grocery store, but never hold their hand or snuggle in the couch, you’re not loving effectively.
So if it matters how your human feels loved the best, and you want them to feel the way you love them the most, love them in the language THEY feel loved, which may not be the same way you do.
If you’re just no good at or unwilling to love the way someone else best feels it, get you a human who speaks and receives the same language as you do so you don’t suffocate your partner.
The 5 Love Languages are: Touch, time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service
If you’ve ever come home to find your dog has totally destroyed the crate and smeared a hot steamy dump all over the walls around it, you will relate to this.
Meet Charlie. He’s a rescue and I’ve had him for 11 days. He’s adorable and cuddly and loving. He wants so badly to please me and in return he just wants to have a home and be petted and fed. Seems like a pretty sweet arrangement for 💯 loyalty.
But last night I left him in his crate for a few hours and he acted out in a big way. He chewed his crate trey to bits and destroyed the carpet underneath it, poop smear included. Was I mad? A little. Was I pleased? Definitely not. Did I want to take him back to the humane society? No.
But why? Because he is learning stability. He’s learning that he can trust this is his home and he’s learning what love feels like. Learning what’s okay and what’s not.
He knew he was in trouble, but the only thing I could think about was how can I help him not feel like that any more. What can I do differently as his person?
I’m not writing this to say we should focus on people’s potential over their pattern, but I am writing for myself to dig into my own pattern of being so willing to forgive the dog over forgiving the human.
I’ve been married and I’ve been divorced…so I can tell you all right now if I had reacted to my husband the way I did my dog – like “damn, damn, damn. Well I know you love me but let’s not let this happen this way again so what’s my role in making sure it doesn’t” that maybe we would still be married. Maybe.
Forgiveness with a little ownership is a very delicate balance. The “why” matters. But so does the “what”. All that to say…look into your own role in your life and be honest about your reactions. Are they fair? Justified? Loving? Solution oriented? If not….get yourself a dog.
The instinct to vehemently protect and defend your children doesn’t fade when they become adults, but it does evolve.
As much as I would like to, I am not powerful enough to shield my kids from every evil this world has to offer. I can’t keep people from being spiteful wenches any more than I can keep it from raining on my good hair day or stop stray dogs from crapping in my yard. But, I can teach my young adult children the difference between someone who’s worth leaving alone and someone who’s worthy of their time and energy.
Lord, Help me to teach my children to identify and reposition the people in their lives who have bad intentions. Help me to be their trusted advisor and not fight their battles for them, but behind them in a position of reinforcement. Amen.
People won’t stop throwing nonsense at us and doing stupid stuff. When we act all emotional in return, we forget how to get things done because we’re focusing on the wrong thing.
I can’t tell you how much energy I’ve wasted in the weeds only to find out weeds are ugly, have no value, and choke out my objective.
The term “weeding out your garden” doesn’t mean pull them, spend time with them, and go give them some water and attention…it means quietly go nuke them and focus on the flowers.
“Unless we form the habit of going to the Bible in bright moments as well as in trouble, we cannot fully respond to its consolations because we lack equilibrium between light and darkness.” Hellen Keller
What’s the first thing you did this morning? Check Facebook, check your bank account, your email, read the paper, turn on the tv, look for that text, check red flags on your fantasy team? Or read your bible & thank God for another day?
Everyone’s guilty of getting distracted every now and then from what really matters. Download a devotional, make praying your new morning habit & watch it change your life. (Download one that tracks your reading & you’ll see real quick the connection between your readings & your all around peace of mind. Truth!)
“Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.” Luke 12:34 NLT
Is it productive? Is it kind? Will it bring a smile to someone’s face?
God created us all to do good things, but he left it up to us to take action. He’s not going to force niceties and diabetes sweet deeds out of us, he’s just given us the ability to do them.
How we choose to treat others is our choice. Be the person you were designed to be and not the one you feel like being when your tart is showing. ♡
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10 NIV
Deeper Than a Puddle 