If it take less than 60 seconds….

I’m so bad about implementing this, so I’m writing it down to remind myself more than anything.…

It really takes no time at all for a clean house to suddenly look like tornado came through it. So when we walk by yesterday’s outfit reject and it would take less than 60 seconds to hang it up, why do we wait for them to pile up into a 60 minute chore?

It’s not good for our brains, our inner peace, or even having company over to have clutter everywhere. The spaces we spend our time in should promote good vibes or we can’t expect to take good vibes with us when we leave them.

I think organized people are the ones who pick up and clear out little by little and not let it turn into a weekend or week long project. So…I’m writing it here. If it takes less than 60 seconds to do it, do it. We won’t miss that minute, but that hour chunk is a chunk we’re taking away from time we could otherwise enjoy.

Get in the Woods

A lot of the world’s problems can be solved as far as you can tell by just removing yourself from them for a minute.

When the world feels a little heavy, the whirlwind of daily life runs you, or when it feels like every single decision is on your shoulders…

Go to the woods. Take a beat. Sit by a fire and have nothing to wrestle with but how the logs on the fire put out the most heat or which way the wind is blowing the smoke.

Not much brings you back to center like being in the middle of the very thing God made for us to live in. The woods, the crickets, and a fire.

When You Can’t Do What You Said You’d Do…

Have you ever borrowed money from a friend or family member? Have you ever gotten in a tight spot and can’t pay it back like you said you would? What do you do then?

Well, you don’t ignore it. You don’t keep going out to eat and buying custom monogrammed blankets for your kids, you don’t keep those 16 subscriptions to all your favorite shows, brag about your new hunting rifle, and you don’t get your nails done. Not if you have a debt you “can’t pay”.

Because this is what it feels like you’re saying to the one you’re not paying: Your money isn’t as important as mine. The time and energy you spent to have the money to loan me isn’t important. You are not important.

Make the phone call. Tell them what’s going on. If you have to pay $20 a week when you promised to pay $50, the show of effort means a lot! Don’t be surprised when they get all in your budget and want to know what went wrong and don’t be offended when they do.

The decision to give you something is a decision made by the GIVER. A gift is not a loan gone bad. Remember their willingness to lend you the money was out of love and care, so the willingness to work with you when you communicate might be also.

Do Friendships Have Seasons?

Do our friendships change? Sure they do and for a lot of different reasons. Not always bad reasons, but change is change.

When I got pregnant with my son at eighteen I lived this. My friendships changed because I changed. I wasn’t headed to college, I wasn’t partying every weekend…I just wasn’t in the same season as your typical eighteen year old. Some of my friendships evolved during that time, but others didn’t because we were living different lives at the time.

Fast forward to my kids are in sports and I had my stadium friendships. I spent most of my time with these other parents and by default we became great friends. Some of those lasted, but after my kids aged out, so did a lot of those daily talks because the time wasn’t there to have them.

Fast forward to today…my kids are grown, my stadium days are over, I’m not much of a go-outer, and I’m spending more time being a “Dee” to other people’s kids, being a teacher to my agents, and tinkering around my house. Some friends are the same from high school or raising kids, but most of them are different.

So why have my friendships changed over the years? Because I have. My ideas changed, my priorities changed, my ways of living changed, the way I spend my time changed. So it’s natural to be closer to different people during different seasons.

You see, some friendships are like bras. Year round, no matter what. You guys support each other every day no matter what season you’re in and you’re on common ground every day. Any female knows a good bra is rare, so you’re lucky to have a handful of these. Others are like winter coats or a beach cover up….still loved and still valuable…just not in all seasons of life.

It’s okay to have both kinds. You can give different friends your best and connect at the right common time, and have a different spot for the ones who have become a part of your every day life.

Is it Okay to Say No?

If someone asks you to do something or if they can have something is it okay to say no? Absolutely it is.

I feel like there’s this pressure to please others while displeasing ourselves, like it’s our penance to pay for unrelated things. I was raised Catholic, so doing “things” to make up for sins we feel bad about is a real concept I was also raised around and I hate to say it, but it is not really a good way to think. Catholic guilt is real.

“If I let this person talk me into this thing I decided I didn’t want to do, it’ll make up for that other thing I did that I shouldn’t have done in the first place.” Hard no on that.

Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. The Bible says it clear as day and it’s a very freeing way to live. I’m not suggesting be completely selfish, but I am suggesting that if your reason for saying no or yes is well thought out, let it stand.

Just because someone asks you the same question 57 times thinking the 57th time they’ll change your mind, or just because you have a guilty conscience for completely unrelated things does not mean you deserve to have your own decision devalued.

You change your own sins by learning from them and not doing them any more. Giving your favorite sweater to the person audacious enough to ask you repeatedly has nothing to do with it and that shouldn’t make you feel bad.

The devil Doesn’t Go After What He Already Has

Chew on that for a minute. Hopefully, we’ve all felt some type of spiritual, internal struggle and warfare going on at some point in our lives. I think that’s a good emotion, having a conscience and all.

I would feel safe saying that most crappy people know they do crappy things and don’t care and feel just fine. No struggle, no doubting, and no affect.

But what about when you feel gross inside? What about when you feel all icky and like your insides are in a twist? I think that’s opposition trying to win you over. And I think since I don’t go looking for something I already have that the devil doesn’t either.

So that yuck feeling…be happy to have it and thankful you’re seen as someone to be had instead of carrying about with your feet on fire. Devil doesn’t go after what he already has.

Why God Made Dogs (and maybe cats)

I was born 43+ years ago, oldest of five kids, married at 18, got divorced, then I raised two kids. They’re both out of the house, my youngest is in college and my oldest is starting his own family.

And I have not once ever had my own dog. Sure, we had dogs growing up, we got Alex a dog when he was little, then we got Kaitlyn a dog, then Kaitlyn found a dog. But I never had my own dog, ever.

Until about a month ago. I went down to the humane society, walked into a room where I could hear the Sarah McLachlan music queued with about 100 sad dogs around, I looked for the one who gave zero flips about anything going on around him and that’s the one I took home.

If you are an empath like me…you like fixing things, you like saving things, you like having a purpose and you like being appreciated throughout that process and filling needs, this is your spot.

I firmly believe that God made dogs (maybe cats but I’m not a cat person to know) to teach us. Literally everything you need to know about companionship, loyalty, affection, unconditional love, and trained self control can be taught through the eyes of a dog.

Pretty much these days I’m just happy at my house with my little $25 in the arms of an Angel dog, Charlie. I just look at him and think about the three months he spent at the pound, in a cage, on a concrete floor, all sad and lonely waiting for someone to love and care for him. ❤

And then I think about how happy I am taking care of him knowing he truly appreciates and deserves it. So thank you, God, for these awesome little best friends some of us never knew we needed.

The Law of Firsts

We all remember “the first time” we learned something, saw something, or experienced something memorable. That new information filled that part of our brain like a dry sponge and every time after that was just extra.

Based on that theory, don’t you want to be the one to soak up the sponge in your child’s brain? Don’t you want to be the one to deliver the right information or lay the groundwork for how they value and interpret every subsequent memory on that topic?

If you do, don’t wait. With the absolute overload and availability of information on social media and the internet, or their friends who get the information first and feed it to our kids, you better be ready to feel out the right time to be the first.

I’m taking sex, love, drugs, death, disappointment, success, money, budgets, failure, overcoming obstacles, friendships, marriage, how to act or how not to act…all of it.

The law of firsts is real and there’s only one first. As Ricky Bobby says “if you ain’t first, you’re last” so don’t wait around and let someone beat you to it.

When is Being Stubborn Just Being Foolish?

I’ve been selling real estate for a good long while now, like 25 years. So I’ve seen a thing or two and I’ve definitely learned the patterns of people and their stubbornness.

If you’ve got your house 50k overpriced and it’s not moving, there’s a reason. It’s not because “the right buyer” hasn’t seen it yet or because I’m not moving it, it’s because there are other things out there bigger or nicer, or both.

So at what point do you reevaluate and see that what you want isn’t what you’re going to get? You could wait it out and watch interest rates rise, watch the holiday lull come and go, watch the house you wanted to buy get sold to someone else because you couldn’t sell yours. Or, you could pay attention to what’s going on, use all the facts and feedback to adjust what you want to a realistic expectation of what you’re going to get.

If what you’re getting in life isn’t changing, what you want doesn’t matter. So being stubborn just makes you foolish. You miss out on other opportunities because being stubborn about it doesn’t change the facts.

If you’re not seeing the results you think you deserve, change what you want or change what you’re doing because more often than not, you can’t keep doing both.

People Vote “With Their Feet”

We can plan the perfect party at the perfect venue with the perfect activities and the perfect food, but if it’s not what the people you invite want to do, they don’t come. They “vote with their feet” by literally not using them to come do what you thought would be perfect.

So what do you even do about this? You listen. You know your audience. You ask for feedback and you take it.

You only do this if your end goal of community is greater than your personal desire for things to look and feel a certain way.

So instead of getting all bent out of shape and feeling rejected or jilted, pay attention to the crowd you’re asking to participate, know your audience. It might take a couple failed attempts, it might take choking down some humble pie, but in the end if the people in our lives feel heard then their feet will follow.